Fostering Grace

This is Grace, currently she is at the Columbus GA animal control on the "urgent list." I am going Tuesday to get her out! I am trying to find a home for her, but in the meantime I need to buy her food, get her a bed and a kennel, toys, and other things that dogs enjoy. If you're able to help out, even the tiniest amount- I would be so grateful!

Asian Inspired Chicken Wings

Ingredients

• For the sauce
• 1 cup sweet chile sauce, such as Mae Ploy
• 2 tablespoons peanut butter
• 1 tablespoon sesame oil
• 2 teaspoon rice vinegar
• 2 teaspoon soy sauce
• 2 teaspoon chopped garlic
• 2 teaspoon chopped fresh ginger
• 2 tablespoons chili sriracha
• 1 chopped jalapeno
• 1 tablespoon cilantro
• 
  
• 3 pounds chicken wings, preferably free-range
• 2 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon paprika
• 1 teaspoon cayenne
• Peanut oil, for frying
•  
• Finely chopped fresh cilantro
• 1 scallion, thinly sliced

Directions: 

• Combine flour, salt, paprika, and cayenne in a bowl.
  

•  Toss chicken in dry ingredients, ensuring chicken is coated.
  
  • Refrigerate for 60 minutes.
  • Place peanut oil in pan, high enough to cover chicken almost entirely.
  • Put chicken in oil and fry for 10-15 minutes, or until done.
  • At the same time, blend together chili sauce, peanut butter, sesame oil, rice vinegar, soy sauce, garlic, ginger, chili sriracha, jalapenos and cilantro.
  • After the chicken is done cooking, coat the chicken in the sauce.
  • Garnish with cilantro and scallion.

Thai Peanut Noodles

Ingredients:

• 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• OPTIONAL CHICKEN MARINADE: This is where it gets sort of complicated because we just play with the marinade until it tastes right. But here are the ingredients that we use:
• Brown sugar
• Honey
• Soy sauce
• Hoisin
• Sriracha
• Basil
• Sesame Oil
• Rice Vinegar
• Garlic
• Ginger
• 1 tbsp coconut oil (can use olive oil if that's what you have in your house)
• 1 lb whole wheat linguine noodles
• 2 bell peppers, sliced. I used red and yellow
• 1/2 cup of peanuts, crushed
• 4 Green onions, chopped
• Garnish with lime wedges

• Sauce:

  • 1 cup of water
  • 4 tbsp of lime juice
  • 6 tbsp of creamy peanut butter
  • 2 tbsp of Sriracha hot sauce
  • 3 tbsp honey
  • 4 tbsp low-sodium soy sauce
  • 3 tsp ground ginger
  • 3 tsp minced garlic
   

Directions:

1. Let chicken marinade for 1-2 hours in the refrigerator.
2. Take chicken out of the marinade and cook until finished (either on the grill or in a pan)
3. Start a pot for the pasta and cook pasta until al dente.
4. Sautee the bell peppers in the coconut oil.
5. While you are waiting for these three things to be finished, make the sauce.
6. Combine water, lime juice, creamy peanut butter, Sriracha, honey, soy sauce, ground ginger and garlic in a bowl and whisk until the peanut butter is no longer clumpy.
7. Chop up the chicken when it is finished cooking.
8. Strain the pasta, and add it back into the pot.
9. Add the sauteed bell peppers and chicken to the pot with the pasta. 
10. Pour the sauce over the pasta, chicken and bell peppers.
11. Cook for 5 minutes and allow sauce to coat all ingredients.
12. Garnish with crushed peanuts, green onions and lime wedges.
13. Delicious with more Sriracha added! 

Recipe adapted from: Once A Month Mom

Enjoy!

 

Garlic Pesto Chicken with Tomato Cream Penne

Ingredients:

• 1 Bottle of Lawry's Garlic and Herb Marinade
• 4 chicken breasts, pounded thin
• 4 tbsp of pesto
• 1 lb of Penne pasta
• 4 tsp olive oil
• 2 shallots, diced
• 4 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1 cup of chicken broth
• 1 14 oz can of tomato sauce (whatever the normal size can at the store is)
• 2 cups of half and half
• 2 tsp of flour
• Salt and pepper to taste
• Basil, for garnish
• Parmesan, to taste
• Red pepper flakes, to taste.

Directions:

1.  Marinate chicken in Lawry's Garlic and Herb marinade and 4 tbsp of pesto. Best if done overnight, but a few hours is fine.
2. Grill until done.
3. Cook pasta until al dente in a pot of salted water.
4. Heat olive oil in skillet over medium heat.
5. Sautee shallots and garlic until shallots are tender.
6. Add cup of chicken broth and cook until the chicken broth reduces by half.
7. Stir in tomato sauce.
8. Add half and half and flour, stir well. *Make sure that the flour clumps are out, I had trouble with this*
9. Season with salt and pepper.
10. Toss pasta in sauce.
11. Plate pasta in bowl and top with chicken. 
12. Garnish with basil, Parmesan cheese and red pepper flakes.

Enjoy!

 

How to Restart Your Diet

I feel like I need to post this just for myself.

Thai Red Curry with Bell Peppers and Mushrooms

Ingredients:

• 5 tbsp Red Curry Paste
• 2 tbsp cooking oil
• 1 13 oz package of angel hair pasta
• 4 cups coconut milk (I used 1 can of light and 1 can of regular)
• 1 lb ground turkey
• 2 tbsp brown sugar
• 3 tbsp fish sauce
• 2 tbsp grated lime zest
• 2 lime quarters
• 2 red bell peppers, diced
• 1 container of fresh sliced mushrooms
• 2 Fresh serrano peppers
• Basil leaves

Directions:

1. Add cooking oil and red curry paste to pan and fry until fragrant.
2. Stir in coconut milk.
3. Boil salted water in a separate pot and add angel hair pasta, and cook accordingly.
4. Wait until coconut milk boils, and then add turkey.
5. Let the turkey cook through (about 15 minutes) and then add brown sugar, fish sauce, lime zest, and squeeze the lime juice from the quarters in the sauce.
6. Add red bell peppers and mushrooms.
7.  Let simmer for 5-10 more minutes.
8. Plate pasta and then place sauce on top.
9. Garnish with sliced serrano peppers and basil leaves.

Enjoy!

 

 

Advice From an ER Doctor to Drug Seekers

OK, I am not going to lecture you about the dangers of narcotic pain medicines. We both know how addictive they are: you because you know how it feels when you don't have your vicodin, me because I've seen many many many people just like you. However, there are a few things I can tell you that would make us both much happier. By following a few simple rules our little clinical transaction can go more smoothly and we'll both be happier because you get out of the ER quicker.

The first rule is be nice to the nurses. They are underpaid, overworked, and have a lot more influence over your stay in the ER than you think. When you are tempted to treat them like shit because they are not the ones who write the rx, remember: I might write for you to get a shot of 2mg of dilaudid, but your behavior toward the nurses determines what percent of that dilaudid is squirted onto the floor before you get your shot.

The second rule is pick a simple, non-dangerous, (non-verifiable) painful condition which doesn't require me to do a four thousand dollar work-up in order to get you out of the ER. If you tell me that you headache started suddenly and is the 'worst headache of your life' you will either end up with a spinal tap or signing out against medical advice without an rx for pain medicine. The parts of the story that you think make you sound pitiful and worthy of extra narcotics make me worry that you have a bleeding aneurysm. And while I am 99% sure its not, I'm not willing to lay my license and my families future on the line for your ass. I also don't want to miss the poor bastard who really has a bleed, so everyone with that history gets a needle in the back. Just stick to a history of your 'typical pain that is totally the same as I usually get' and we will both be much happier.

The third rule (related to #2) is never rate your pain a 10/10. 10/10 means the worst pain you could possibly imagine. I've seen people in a 10/10 pain and you sitting there playing tetris on your cell phone are not in 10/10 pain. 10/10 pain is an open fracture dangling in the wind, a 50% body surface deep partial thickness burn, or the pain of a real cerebral aneurysm. Even when I passed a kidney stone, the worst pain I had was probably a 7. And that was when I was projectile vomiting and crying for my mother. So stick with a nice 7 or even an 8. That means to me you are hurting by you might not be lying. (See below.)

The fourth rule is never ever ever lie to me about who you are or your history. If you come to the ER and give us a fake name so we can't get your old records I will assume you are a worse douchetard than you really are. More importantly though it will really really piss me the fuck off. Pissing off the guy who writes the rx you want does not work to your advantage.

The fifth rule is don't assume I am an idiot. I went to medical school. That is certainly no guarantee that I am a rocket scientist I know (hell, I went to school with a few people who were a couple of french fries short of a happy meal.) However, I also got an ER residency spot which means I was in the top quarter or so of my class. This means it is a fair guess I am a reasonably smart guy. So if I read your triage note and 1) you list allergies to every non-narcotic pain medicine ever made, 2) you have a history of migraines, fibromyalgia, and lumbar disk disease, and 3) your doctor is on vacation, only has clinic on alternate Tuesdays, or is dead, I am smart enough to read that as: you are scamming for some vicodin. That in and of itself won't necessarily mean you don't get any pain medicine. Hell, the fucktards who list and allergy to tylenol but who can take vicodin (which contains tylenol) are at least good for a few laughs at the nurses station. However, if you give that history everyone in the ER from me to the guy who mops the floor will know you are a lying douchetard who is scamming for vicodin. (See rule # 4 about lying.)

The sixth and final rule is wait your fucking turn. If the nurse triages you to the waiting room but brings patients who arrived after you back to be treated first, that is because this is an EMERGENCY room and they are sicker than you are. You getting a fix of vicodin is not more important than the 6 year old with a severe asthma attack. Telling the nurse at triage that now your migraine is giving you chest pain since you have been sitting a half hour in the waiting area to try to force her into taking you back sooner is a recipe for making all of us hate you. Even if you end up coming back immediately, I will make it my mission that night to torment you. You will not get the pain medicine you want under any circumstances. And I firmly believe that if you manipulate your way to the back and make a 19 year old young woman with an ectopic pregnancy that might kill her in a few hours wait even a moment longer to be seen, I should be able to piss in a glass and make you drink it before you leave the ER.

So if you keep these few simple rules in mind, our interaction will go much more smoothly. I don't really give a shit if I give 20 vicodins to a drug-seeker. Before I was burnt out in the ER I was a hippy and I would honestly rather give that to ten of you guys than make one person in real pain (unrelated to withdrawal) suffer. However, if you insist on waving a flourescent orange flag that says 'I am a drug seeker' and pissing me and the nurses off with your behavior, I am less likely to give you that rx. You don't want that. I don't want that. So lets keep this simple, easy, and we'll all be much happier.

Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood ER doc.

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